A Presbyterian Converts to Mormonism

I apologize for not having posted in such a long time - the weather in Ireland can be so depressing at times and since his call to the position of stake president I rarely see my husband these days.  In case you haven’t seen it I will copy below the article that Sean Macdonnel of The Lissacreasig Times wrote in last week’s paper:

In a surprise move 14 year old Jenny Blarney has converted to Mormonism leaving behind the Presbyterian faith in which she was being raised. 

In an exclusive interview with the Lissacreasig Times Blarney said she was shocked that Presbyterianism still even exists as a religion.  When asked for clarification Blarney stated that “Presbyterians claim to follow and accept the scriptures but the evidence shows that this is complete rubbish.” 

Blarney explained that she had taken an interest in Mormonism after finding out that American Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was a member of the faith.  A few weeks ago Blarney obtained a copy of the Mormon scriptures and was reading through them when she came upon the scripture that would change her life forever.  “Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of woman than this did at this time to mine”, explained Blarney, “It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart”. 

When prompted Blarney opened her scriptures and read the following passage as recorded by the prophet Joseph Smith “I have learned for myself that Presbyterianism is not true.”  (http://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/js-h/1.20?lang=eng#19)

When presented with the above passage John Mcwilliams, pastor of the local Baptist congregation, agreed with Blarney that “it is incredible that the Presbyterian religion has survived all these years when the scriptures are so crystal clear in condemning them.”

Blarney expressed great disappointment at ‘wasting 14 years of her life in a false religion’ and is no longer on talking terms with her distraught parents.  At the time of this publication Blarney will have already arrived in the American state of Texas where she will become one of the many plural wives of 57 year old prison inmate Warren Jeffs, President of The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and successor to Joseph Smith.

Ireland’s leading Mormon, President William Lilburn Godfrey Paternoster was reportedly too upset to comment.   

The Bare Naked Ladies

Sisters, I was absolutely horrified the other day to overhear some of the young men talking about going to see 'the bare naked ladies'.  They were discussing it quite openly right in the hallway at church and one of their leaders was with them but didn't say a thing!  I almost fainted.

As the young women’s President I will be ensuring that there are absolutely no more joint activities with these young men until the bishop has met with them and assured me that they have confessed and repented. 

Naked women should never be on the minds of our young priesthood holders who administer the sacrament each week and are preparing for missions.  It is utterly deplorable to think of these young men going to see a show featuring ladies who are not just dressed inappropriately but who are completely bare.  What possible redeeming qualities could such a show have?  President Paternoster has assured me that in his day the youth of the church never entertained such thoughts nor was such entertainment even available.  The last days are truly upon us Sisters and we cannot stand by (like that young mens leader) and allow Satan to win the souls of our young men.

I do this post as a warning.  Please keep your ears open to the conversations of the young men that you too may help them avoid the snares that are so prevalent in these the latter days.

The Importance of Modesty over the Summer

Now that summer is upon us I have been weighed down with concern over the temptation there is for our young women (and shockingly enough some of our older women) to wear short shorts and tank tops. I was visiting with a non-member friend of mine (I really think I'm getting the gospel through to her) and told her of my worries. She said that there is a place she likes to go where there has never been a problem with short shorts, tank tops or any kind of clothing for that matter. She said she was part of a group that delighted in the beauty God has created. I was very intrigued by this and so she sent me a link to look at. She did suggest I sit with President Paternoster when I check out the the link which I am very much looking forward to doing tonight but I was so excited that I just had to tell you all about it.

http://www.british-naturism.org.uk/

The temptation to get Brazilians....

I overheard a couple of church member sisters in my neighbourhood speaking about getting Brazilians.  When they came back home 2 hours later I noticed they weren’t walking normally.

Surely no good can come from what they are doing.

I looked it up online and think I understand now.  Should I talk to President Paternoster about this? Perhaps I should bring it up in ward council first.

http://popewatchnow.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/brazil2.jpg

The curse and blessings of womanhood

Sisters,

The woman’s position with regards to a man and her emotional dependence on him has on occasion been spoken of as a curse.  To quote from Brigham Young in the Journal of Discourses:

“True there is a curse upon the woman that is not upon the man, namely that her whole affections shall be towards her husband, and what is next? He shall rule over you.”

Female liberationists would doubtless respond “spoken like a true male chauvinist” but they do not understand the blessings and promises we women have nor the sacred covenants we make with the Lord in the temples to obey our husbands.

I always feel much better about my lot in life after reading the rest of the quote from Brigham Young which advises:

“A woman should say “I will make the best of it; it is a law that man should rule over me; his word is my law, and I must obey him; he must rule over me; this is upon me and I will submit to it”.  By so doing she has promises that others do not have.”

I am thankful for my husband who rules over me with love, kindness and righteous dominion even to the point where he has allowed me to continue this blog.

Sister Paternoster  

Are Cougars Hot?

Sisters do your husbands allow you to read those popular womens magazines? I was out shopping the other day when I noticed on one of them the title ‘Are Cougars Hot?’

I wish I was allowed to buy these magazines as I had never really thought of that question before, but President Paternoster won't allow them in the house in case a general authority sees them. I came to the conclusion on my own however that cougars in Utah likely are very hot, especially in the blazing heat of summer.  Look at this one for example:

http://www.ammoland.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Utah-DWR-Cougar.jpg

My Personal Priesthood Interview

Sisters, do you have a weekly personal priesthood interview with your husband? As the wife of a stake president I get to have one every Sunday evening.  It is truly wonderful and a highlight of my week to get a few minutes of alone time with him. This time we measured the length of my new skirt to ensure it was appropriate and then Bill checked my shoe cupboard to ensure I still owned no flip flops (he knows I have secretly wanted a pair for years, but is worried I might be tempted to wear them to a church function).  We then counted my antidepressant pills to ensure that I had taken the right amount since our interview last week (he just wants to ensure I fit in with the other LDS sisters in the neighborhood), and no I didn’t rush home in a panic during Sunday School to quickly flush 7 of them down the toilet.  

Everything was going so well but then he asked me whether I thought my new blog was appropriate. I told him all about the Sunday School lesson that day that I hadn’t missed and how fascinating it was that Jesus did all those things and asked him about the ward conference he presided over earlier.  It’s so easy to distract him but I have covenanted to obey my husband as he obeys 'The Father' so maybe I should delete this blog.  Sisters what do you think?