The temptation to get Brazilians....

I overheard a couple of church member sisters in my neighbourhood speaking about getting Brazilians.  When they came back home 2 hours later I noticed they weren’t walking normally.

Surely no good can come from what they are doing.

I looked it up online and think I understand now.  Should I talk to President Paternoster about this? Perhaps I should bring it up in ward council first.

http://popewatchnow.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/brazil2.jpg

The curse and blessings of womanhood

Sisters,

The woman’s position with regards to a man and her emotional dependence on him has on occasion been spoken of as a curse.  To quote from Brigham Young in the Journal of Discourses:

“True there is a curse upon the woman that is not upon the man, namely that her whole affections shall be towards her husband, and what is next? He shall rule over you.”

Female liberationists would doubtless respond “spoken like a true male chauvinist” but they do not understand the blessings and promises we women have nor the sacred covenants we make with the Lord in the temples to obey our husbands.

I always feel much better about my lot in life after reading the rest of the quote from Brigham Young which advises:

“A woman should say “I will make the best of it; it is a law that man should rule over me; his word is my law, and I must obey him; he must rule over me; this is upon me and I will submit to it”.  By so doing she has promises that others do not have.”

I am thankful for my husband who rules over me with love, kindness and righteous dominion even to the point where he has allowed me to continue this blog.

Sister Paternoster  

Are Cougars Hot?

Sisters do your husbands allow you to read those popular womens magazines? I was out shopping the other day when I noticed on one of them the title ‘Are Cougars Hot?’

I wish I was allowed to buy these magazines as I had never really thought of that question before, but President Paternoster won't allow them in the house in case a general authority sees them. I came to the conclusion on my own however that cougars in Utah likely are very hot, especially in the blazing heat of summer.  Look at this one for example:

http://www.ammoland.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Utah-DWR-Cougar.jpg

My Personal Priesthood Interview

Sisters, do you have a weekly personal priesthood interview with your husband? As the wife of a stake president I get to have one every Sunday evening.  It is truly wonderful and a highlight of my week to get a few minutes of alone time with him. This time we measured the length of my new skirt to ensure it was appropriate and then Bill checked my shoe cupboard to ensure I still owned no flip flops (he knows I have secretly wanted a pair for years, but is worried I might be tempted to wear them to a church function).  We then counted my antidepressant pills to ensure that I had taken the right amount since our interview last week (he just wants to ensure I fit in with the other LDS sisters in the neighborhood), and no I didn’t rush home in a panic during Sunday School to quickly flush 7 of them down the toilet.  

Everything was going so well but then he asked me whether I thought my new blog was appropriate. I told him all about the Sunday School lesson that day that I hadn’t missed and how fascinating it was that Jesus did all those things and asked him about the ward conference he presided over earlier.  It’s so easy to distract him but I have covenanted to obey my husband as he obeys 'The Father' so maybe I should delete this blog.  Sisters what do you think?

A Letter of Complaint against Stake President Paternoster

My dear sisters, I know it can be hard having a husband who is constantly away from home fulfilling his priesthood role.  Sometimes we sisters get so bored that we end up unconsciously going through our husband’s things in an attempt to be closer to him. Life seems so unfair sometimes.    

I know I am not supposed to read his personal letters and I’m sure President Paternoster wouldn’t want me to but I was innocently going through his top desk drawer the other night and just couldn’t resist sharing this with you.  You see occasionally members will go against the counsel of The Brethren by writing a letter directly to a general authority.  Fortunately as per the handbook of instructions these letters get sent right back to my husband to deal with. I'm not sure how he will handle this situation but somehow he always manages.  

Here is the letter that was recently sent back to him from church headquarters.  It was by one of the kindest and sweetest members of our stake, Sister Bloggings.  I am sure she meant well - this is what she wrote;

Dear President Monson,

I am writing to complain about my Stake President Bill Paternoster. While his teachings are in harmony with the gospel and he is loved by all I feel that after almost suffering a heart attack whilst innocently coming across his disturbing pictures in the brand new Target catalogue I can no longer sustain him as stake president.

My 27 year old great granddaughter loves the pictures and thinks President Paternoster looks very handsome in boxer shorts which may very well be the case, but I think this may be having a bad influence on the young sisters in the stake who may find him and his underwear more attractive than that of the other worthy priesthood holders.   

May I please ask that you conduct a temple worthiness interview with him to see if he is wearing his garments night and day as instructed in the temple and in accordance with the sacred covenants he has made.   

I understand that he is highly sought after with his natural boyish good looks and figure.  Rumor even has it (not that I listen to rumors) that sales triple when he appears in these catalogues. But I wonder if instead of serving God he is aware that he is in fact serving mammon.  He is setting a very poor example for the Bishops, Stake High Council and other priesthood leaders to follow.

I for one am not comfortable with the tithing dollars from his modeling practices being used to build up the kingdom of God upon the Earth. I consider this money to be of the filthy lucre that is spoken of in scripture and wish he would just stick to his very successful marketing business which I have recently joined and am very excited about.  I will be presenting our business to other good sisters as part of my visiting teaching route and in our upcoming Relief Society personal finances planning session next week.    
  

I sincerely thank you in advance for your understanding and for your prompt action in calling a new stake president which unfortunately can no longer be Brother Bloggings as he passed away some seventeen years ago,

Sincerely yours,

Sister Mabel Bloggings