A Letter of Complaint against Stake President Paternoster

My dear sisters, I know it can be hard having a husband who is constantly away from home fulfilling his priesthood role.  Sometimes we sisters get so bored that we end up unconsciously going through our husband’s things in an attempt to be closer to him. Life seems so unfair sometimes.    

I know I am not supposed to read his personal letters and I’m sure President Paternoster wouldn’t want me to but I was innocently going through his top desk drawer the other night and just couldn’t resist sharing this with you.  You see occasionally members will go against the counsel of The Brethren by writing a letter directly to a general authority.  Fortunately as per the handbook of instructions these letters get sent right back to my husband to deal with. I'm not sure how he will handle this situation but somehow he always manages.  

Here is the letter that was recently sent back to him from church headquarters.  It was by one of the kindest and sweetest members of our stake, Sister Bloggings.  I am sure she meant well - this is what she wrote;

Dear President Monson,

I am writing to complain about my Stake President Bill Paternoster. While his teachings are in harmony with the gospel and he is loved by all I feel that after almost suffering a heart attack whilst innocently coming across his disturbing pictures in the brand new Target catalogue I can no longer sustain him as stake president.

My 27 year old great granddaughter loves the pictures and thinks President Paternoster looks very handsome in boxer shorts which may very well be the case, but I think this may be having a bad influence on the young sisters in the stake who may find him and his underwear more attractive than that of the other worthy priesthood holders.   

May I please ask that you conduct a temple worthiness interview with him to see if he is wearing his garments night and day as instructed in the temple and in accordance with the sacred covenants he has made.   

I understand that he is highly sought after with his natural boyish good looks and figure.  Rumor even has it (not that I listen to rumors) that sales triple when he appears in these catalogues. But I wonder if instead of serving God he is aware that he is in fact serving mammon.  He is setting a very poor example for the Bishops, Stake High Council and other priesthood leaders to follow.

I for one am not comfortable with the tithing dollars from his modeling practices being used to build up the kingdom of God upon the Earth. I consider this money to be of the filthy lucre that is spoken of in scripture and wish he would just stick to his very successful marketing business which I have recently joined and am very excited about.  I will be presenting our business to other good sisters as part of my visiting teaching route and in our upcoming Relief Society personal finances planning session next week.    
  

I sincerely thank you in advance for your understanding and for your prompt action in calling a new stake president which unfortunately can no longer be Brother Bloggings as he passed away some seventeen years ago,

Sincerely yours,

Sister Mabel Bloggings